just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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