She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you win again, gameday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize