people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
we're so committed to being not committed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize