well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
