I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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