Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize