how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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