yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later