i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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