i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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