I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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