Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
