Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
