OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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