I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
