Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected