its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm just crazy horny about you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.