with your own penis?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
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My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!