So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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