He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
