Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.