She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
