life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize