Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
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im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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