Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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