you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
