She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
did i just pee glitter
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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