Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
