I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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