I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize