Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize