i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
farters have to be the big spoon...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize