she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize