Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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