If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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