the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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