my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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