I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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