one two three fourrrrnication!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
