Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
