You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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