Non-Jews are for practice
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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