if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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