Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This is not my ceiling
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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