Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
