What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize