remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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