She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
