Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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