my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Vodka?
Forever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's not a walk of shame if you run
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
