Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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