I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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